Monday, February 21, 2005

Gretchen Wilson can go chug a cock

Man, modern country music fucking blows. It's some of the most formulaic, bubblegum sounding music this side of where the Top 40 stations rest on the dial. In fact, it's a lot like modern pop, in that the individual artists are interchangable, the songs all fit certain archetypes- slow, sentimental song; danceable get my party on song; love song; song talking about all the shit that you own- just that country songs are generally cleaner. You know, for families and all that.

But really, country isn't. You have people talking about getting drunk all the time, and I guess that's more legal than getting crunked up WHAT? Crunked up. WHAT? Crunked up. OKAY! (look how clever I am, I'm stealing a bit from somebody else! oh, I'm so funny.) And then there are the songs about beating your wife, and lots of double entendres about sex. So really, country music and its fans are by far the most hypocritical people I can think of right now to direct ire at.

And I'm eating breakfast and the radio's on, and this song by Gretchen Wilson comes on, and I'm standing there, like, "What the fuck. This is a song about being a big slut. This is a song about going to parties and being a slutty slut who likes to slut her slutty stuff." And the station's has those neat spots in between songs, and one of those spots is all about being all about family values.

You fucking cocksuckers! What the fuck is wrong with your moral compass? Because from looking over your shoulder it seems to be set on "oblivious." Let's condemn rap music for being mysognystic and hateful, let's condemn rock music for being violent and Satanic, let's condemn pop music for making our children loose. Instead they should be listening to country music, which is good for the whole family.

The worst part is all the Jesus Freak girls who listen to shit like this and find it empowering. Yes, using your pussy is empowering. So is making yourself an intellectual equal, accomplishing something, and also, not being a cheap slut.

Fuck you Gretchen Wilson.

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